Dawn of a Most Stormy Life
by Birdgirl204
Summary: Snape's Worst Memory" onward-follow a gay, self-abusing werewolf. "I can't stay angry for long especially at you even after The Incident because I love you even though you'll never love me bloodthirsty monster fag useless sheepskin disgrace ." RLSB
1. Prelude and Aftermath

**Generic disclaimer:The simple fact that I (currently) only own AMERICAN editions of all the books should be evidence enough that I am not J.K. Rowling. Neither do I own rights to anything that you recognize. Lame jokes belong to me. Everything (**_**like this**_**) is a thought of Remus', even if it's in the middle of what somebody else is saying. **_**Added 1/26/09: This event falls a few months before the rest of the story, and is just meant to give a bit of backround. "Prelude" is a musical term; I'm fully aware that the proper term for something such as this is "prologue". The story title is taken from Edgar Allan Poe's "From Childhood's Hour".**_

Fuzziness and blurs, blurriness and fuzz, only distorted colors and shapes, all indistinct and unimportant.

"Mr. Lupin? Mr. Lupin, the headmaster is here to see you - just sit up now; there's a good lad!"

"Nonsense, Poppy, I can talk to young Mr. Lupin just as well when he's lying down. If you don't mind, I'd like to speak to him alone?"

Sounds that echoed, nonsensical as if they'd been altered, or as if from a different life entirely.

Madame Pomphrey muttered something that Remus couldn't quite distinguish as she walked out of the room, her robes swishing behind her like the branches of the Whomping Willow.

"Accio Pepperup!"

A hand on his back, forcing him to sit up. "Just a sip now, Remus. You do still need your rest." The fire in his mouth was more than enough to have him fully aware, as well as sitting up. 

"Professor?" 

"Yes, Mr. Lupin, it is I. How are you feeling?"

Remus frowned; frankly, he felt like he'd been run over by the school's herd of Thestrals.

"Been worse, sir. Why, did something happen? I didn't get out, did I? Oh Merlin, is everybody-"

"Everything will be alright, Mr. Lupin." Dumbledore cut him off with a wave of his hand. "I don't suppose you remember any of last night?" At the shake of Remus' head he continued, "One Sirius Black took it upon himself to dare young Mr. Snape to go through the tunnel to the Shrieking Shack at sunset last night, from what I've been told. Mr. Black didn't seem to want to talk about it. Fortunately, he took it upon himself to tell Mr. Potter of his misdoings in time for Mr. Potter to pull Mr. Snape out of the tunnel. He will not tell anybody of your affliction, Remus." He reached down and plucked something off of Remus' bedside table and placed it in his mouth. "Alas! Earwax! Mr. Black has been waiting outside the wing since lessons let out, I believe, wishing to see you. Would you like me to have Poppy allow him enterance?" (_Sirius I could have killed Severus Sirius James Peter anybody could have killed Severus why would he tell anybody- _another thought struck Remus then: Severus knew that he was a werewolf. That he was not human . . . a Dark Creature. _-monster and you would have killed him too if not for James owe him your life as well vicious monster terror_) Numbly, it was all Remus could do to nod and lower himself back down to the bed.

"I'll send him in, then. Good-day, Mr. Lupin!" 

As soon as Dumbledore had turned, Remus clenched his eyes shut. (_At least now I know why I feel so awful he can't have done this on purpose Moony needs Padfoot too much.I need Padfoot too much._) He opend them again at the slight rustling next to him, and saw Sirius shifting from one foot to another, hands in his pockets, bags under his eyes.

"Remus, I - " 

Remus cut him off. Rolling his eyes, he said, "Sit down, Sirius, you look terrible. What happened?"

Instead of perching on the end of the bed like he usually did, Sirius opted to sit on the floor, bringing him nearly eye-to-eye with Remus. Drawing his knees up to his chest, he crossed his arms over them and made fists so tight that his knuckles shone through. "I'm so sorry, Remus, I - " 

Remus, however, cut him off again. Lifting a hand from its place on his blankets, he reached down and wrapped it around one of Sirius' fists. "Just from the beginning, Sirius."

Sirius drew a shuddering breath and looked away, towards a window. "Snape caught me alone outside - I'd gone out to let Padfoot out for a bit before . . . well, you know how the git is, nearly got into a deul." He looked back at Remus "He wanted to know where you go every month, Remus. Told him your Mum was ill and all that . . . wouldn't believe me. We both had our wands out . . . next I knew he was gone and I'd told him to go to the Willow . . . push the knothole and he'd end up in the Shack . . . ." He drew another shuddering breath, and Remus continued trying to pry his fist open. "Ran up and told James; he always knows what to do; he got to Snape just in time. He'd seen you, though, Remus, I'm so sorry." He looked out towards the windows again, and relaxed his hands enough for Remus to finally slip his fingers between his own and open his hand.

"Needn't make yourself bleed though, Pads."

Sirius turned his head quickly to look back at Remus, his mouth slightly open. "What?"

Remus squeezed his hand. Looking down, Sirius opend up both of his hands to see blood on his palms in crecents from his nails. "Bugger." He looked up at Remus again, wiping his hands on his robes. "I think James is ready to kill me; I get it completely if you want me to leave you alone - " "Padfoot," Remus interrupted, "it's alright. You're my best friend, y'know, always. And Severus hated me anyway, I think. I may not be happy, but it's in the past. Moony and I both need you too much to not forgive you, yeah? It'll be alright." With that, Remus slipped back into unconsiousness, leaving Sirius sitting on the floor still holding his hand, pondering the previous twenty-four hours.


	2. 1

**Generic disclaimer:  
The simple fact that I (currently) only own AMERICAN editions of all the books should be evidence enough that I am not J.K. Rowling. Neither do I own rights to anything that you recognize. Lame jokes belong to me; props to those who recognize them. Everything **(_like this_) **is a thought of Remus', even if it's in the middle of what somebody else is saying. Full moon dates are all historically accurate. Format will hopefully improve when I find a way to run MSWord2003 or OpenOffice on Vista. **

The sun was reflecting brightly off of the lake, sending shimmers on to the walls of the castle as the Fifth Years finished their DADA O.W.L. Inside the Great Hall, a very, very short professor was struggling to hold on to nearly 50 rolls of parchment, just barely managing to heap them onto a table nearly as tall as he. Few, if any, of the students noticed this, although a pair of them had already picked up the professor and his parchments once. As the students exited the Great Hall, a group of four boys came together.

**Le seperator pour les sections alles ici**

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" Sirius Black said to his friend, as they walked into the Entrance Hall.

"Loved it," said the one called "Moony" briskly. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf'. Excellent question, Padfoot."

"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" Said another of their frends, James Potter, with an air of mock concern.

"Think I did," said Moony seriously, as they joined the crowd gathering around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's 'Remus Lupin' . . . (_Not Moony_)."

The short, fat boy was the only one who didn't laugh.  
"I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes, and the tufted tail," he said anxiously, "but I couldn't think what else - "

"How thick are you, Wormtail?" said James to Peter Pettigrew. "You run 'round with a werewolf once a month - "

"Keep your voice down!" hissed Remus.

"Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake," Sirius said. "I'll be surprised if I don't get Outstanding on it at least."

"Me too." The messy-haired boy pulled a struggling Snitch out of his pocket.

"Merlin, Prongs, where'd you get that?"

"Snitched it", he said casually, and as Remus caught his eye and snickered, the group stopped in the shade of a beech tree near the edge of the lake. James started playing with the Snitch, allowing it to fly as much as a foot away and siezing it again; his reflexes were excellent. Peter watched him in awe. Every time James made a particularly difficult catch, Peter gasped and applauded.

After about ten minutes of this, Sirius said, "Put that away, will you?" James made an excellent catch and Peter cheered. "before Wormtail wets himself from excitement."

Peter blushed, but James grinned and wrapped the wings around the Snitch as he shoved it back in his pocket, saying, "If it bothers you, Pads."

"I'm bored," said Sirius. "Wish it was full moon."

"You might (_seeing as you won't be the blood-thirsty monster in a cage trying to get out and kill his father_)," Remus muttered darkly from behind his book. "We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me . . . . Here." He held out his book.

Sirius snorted. "I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all."

"This'll liven you up, Padfoot," said James quietly. "Look who it is . . . . "

Sirius' head turned. He stilled, like a dog listening for a rabbit. "Excellent," he whispered. "_Snivellus_."

Remus stayed quiet, looking up at the group through his eyelashes - he was pretending to study his Transfiguration notes.

Severus Snape, a dark-eyed, scrawny boy, had started walking up the lawn from the lake.

"All right, Snivellus?" called James loudly.

Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack: dropping his bag, he plunged his hand inside his robes, and his wand was halfway into the air when James shouted _"Expelliarmus!" _

Snape's wand flew into the air and fell with a little _thud_ into the long grass behind him. Sirius let out a bark of laughter.

_"Impedimenta!" _ he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off of his feet halfway through a dive toward his wand.  
A group of students had gathered in a rough circle around the boys, their facial expressions ranging from aprrehension to amusement.

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands up. Peter was on his feet now, edging around Remus to get a better view.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" said James.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Sirius viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Several people watching laughed; Severus didn't seem to have anybody on his side. Peter giggled shrilly as Severus tried to get up, struggling against the invisible bindings of the jinx.

"You - wait," he panted, glaring up at James

He hissed a string of mixed hexes and swears, none of which had any effect since his wand was still metres away.

"And wash your mouth out!" ordered James. "Scourgify!" Snape's mouth filled with frothing pink bubbles, and he started to gag.

"Leave him ALONE!"

James and Sirius looked around. James' free hand jumped to his head, running through his already disheveled hair.

It was a girl who had been down by the lake's edge, with dark red hair, eyes glowing like flames from copper sulfate.

"All right, Evans?" said James, and his voice was suddenly lower, as if he were _mature_.

"Leave him alone," Evans repeated. She looked at James with disgust. "What's he done to you?"

"Well, Lily" said James, dragging out the _eh_, "it's more the fact that he _exists_, if you know what I mean . . . ."

Many of those watching laughed, but not Lily or Remus.

"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said James quickly. "Go on . . . Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

Behind him, the jinxes that he'd laid on Snape were wearing off. Snape was beginning to inch toward his fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as he crawled.

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," said Lily.

"Bad luck, Prongs," said Sirius, turning back to Snape. "OY!"

But he was too late; Snape had pointed his want straight at James, and with a flash of light James was spattered with blood from a deep cut on his cheek. He spun aound, and after another flash of light Snape was hanging upside down in the air, robes falling around his head, revealing pale, skinny legs and graying underpants.

Many of the crowd cheered, and Peter, Sirius, and James roared with laughter, although Remus just shook his head frowning, still "looking" at his Transfiguration notes.

Though her lips twitched, Lily said, "Let him down!"

"Certainly," agreed James, and with an upward jerk of his wand Snape lay in a heap on the ground. Untangling himself he quickly rose with his wand at the ready, but Sirius said, "_Locomotor mortis_!" and Snape fell over at once, straight as a board.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now, and James and Sirius eyed it wearily.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you!"

"Take the curse off him, then!"

James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the countercurse.

"There you go," he said, as Snape struggled to his feet again, "you're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

Lily blinked. "_Fine_. I won't bother in the future, then. And I'd wash my pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

"Apologise to Evans!" James yelled at Snape, wand pointing right at his heart.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologise," Lily shouted, turning on James. "You're as bad as he is . . . ."

"What?" shrieked James. "I'd NEVER call you a - you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks so cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just beause you can - I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

She turned on her heal and walked away.

"Evans!" James shouted after her, "Hey, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

"What is it with her?" said James, trying and failing to look as if he didn't care.

"Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate," said Sirius.

"Right," said James, looking furious, "right - "

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside down in the air.

James was proclaiming wildly, "who wants to see me take off Snivellus' pants?"

Remus sighed and spoke up, "do that and I might actually have to write you up, James." James pouted, but turned and muttered the countercurse. With a flick of his wand, Snape was on the ground in a heap. Sirius, however, was smirking.

"Wouldn't you rather take off Evan's underpants, Prongs?"

James whipped around, returning the smirk. "Yeah, but she'd probably blast my bits off in a heartbeat," James shuddered.

Remus grinned as Peter winced and let out a squeak. Sirius turned towards him, grinning malaciously. Lungeing, he let out a bark and started chasing Peter, who squeaked again and turned to run around the tree. Sirius was close enough to catching him that, when Peter knelt to try and hide behind Remus, Sirius tripped over him (causing him to squeak yet again), and promptly fell into Remus' lap. Remus yelped (_oh Merlin oh Merlin oh oooh I need oh he - can't - I - leave run away away scared love escape oh so wrong monster disgusting monster_) and smacked Sirius upside the back of the head, causing him to whimper loudly.

Lily, who was walking back to the castle at the moment, shouted as she passed, "maybe if you four didn't act like _animals_ all the time I'd consider dating you, Potter!"

James turned to her, stricken, his expression akin to that of a deer caught in headlights. "But Lilyflower," he protested, "I could be your love-bunny!" He pouted again as the other three Marauders burst out laughing and Lily snorted, storming back into the castle. James looked back at Sirius, who was still across Remus' lap. "What did I do wrong? She so wants me, right?" Sirius, who was struggling to catch his breath from his bout of laughter, burst out again at James' sincerity.

Remus just smiled grimly and shoved Sirius off of his lap. Sirius stopped laughing as he hit the ground, and, frowning, looked up at Remus. Latching on to the part of Remus nearest him (his thigh), Sirius whined, "But Moony-baby, I thought I was your love-bunny! What'd you shove me off for?"

"Because, love-_puppy_, you were squishing my Transfiguration notes. Which I'll now be forced to go study in the Common Room as I can't get any peace out here- (_oh Merlin don't look at me like that_)"

"Aw, come'on, Moons!" Sirius protested, but Remus shook his head and hurried up the hill to the castle.

Once inside, he ran to the Gryffindor Common Room as fast as he dared, hoping not to be caught. After scrambling through the portrait-hole ("Kneazle!"), he ran up to the Fifth-Year dorms and, upon slamming the door, turned and rested his forehead against it. "You're not in love with him," he said aloud, "you're not the 'wolf now, it's the 'wolf that wants him; you're not the 'wolf, not the 'wolf . . . " he continued to mutter, one hand unconsciously snaking through his robes to cover the growing bulge in his pants. As his palm hit, though, the friction caused Remus to simultaneously gasp, lift his head from the door, and drop his bookbag. Lifting the hand in question, he stared at it. "What have I done . . ." he thought to himself, hair falling around his face, (_that's wrong too that's wrong being gay is wrong you are so disgusting. . . being like this over your best friend is wrong . . . damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it . . ._ ) each 'damn it' punctuated by a smack of Remus' forehead on the door. (_You are not_ (thump) _in love_ (thunk) _with Sirius_ (bump) _fucking _(thunk) _BLACK_ (bang)_!_)

With a lump beginning to form on in head he turned and, walking over to his bed (dragging his bag behind him), tossed his bag on it before digging out his Transfiguration notes, and left the dorm.

**Le seperator pour les sections alles ici.**

When Sirius found Remus hours later, the latter was seated on a windowsill, sunlight highlighting the scars across his face. He was bent over some parchment, right hand threaded through and fisting his hair as his scribbled madly with his left.

"Moony!" Sirius called as he scrambled through the portrait hole, "Moony!" He walked towards Remus, who showed no response. Standing beside him, Sirius bent over and whispered into his ear, "Remus . . . ." Remus froze (_breathe Remus breathe there's no way he wants you monster you're a monster sick monster_), breathing again and looking up only after Sirius tenatively put a hand on his shoulder and said, "Moons? You ok?"

"Yeah, I just - it - you just startled me, I'll be fine I was just concentrating and -"

"You're rambling, Moony. Prongs and Wormy made me come up here to tell you that you're missing dinner."

Remus frowned. "Alright. You can go on down; I'll just finish - pincushions into hedgehogs - the dorm - (_don't need to bother with monsters if you leave me you can't be hurt_)" He brandished his notes wildly.

"You sure? I can wait, Moony-baby . . . ."

Remus rolled his eyes, and, gripping Sirius' shoulder tightly for support, lowered himself carefully off of the windowsill (_any excuse to touch him don't you God I'm getting too old for this)_. "What? Oh, I'm sure, love-puppy." Remus patted Sirius on the back and pushed past him on his way up to the dorms, "see you downstairs".

Sirius left after Remus had gone up the steps, although Remus _did_ wish he'd have waited anyway. Closing his eyes before he left the dorm, he silently told himself, "you are not in love with Sirius Black". It was the only thought that he had until he reached the Great Hall and laid eyes on his friends (_beautiful no monster freak won't ever love you don't deserve love monsters don't deserve love_), as their mealtime conversations typically required little to no thought at all.


	3. Sleeping with friends and fishes

**Generic disclaimer/AN:If I owned them, they wouldn't be dead. Lame jokes belong to me; props to those who recognize them. This holds for all further chapters unless otherwise noted. **

**Everything **(_like this_) **is a thought of Remus', even if it's in the middle of what somebody else is saying. Full moon dates are all historically accurate. Format will hopefully improve when I find a way to run MSWord2003 or OpenOffice on Vista. **

**I'm not putting this in any other chapters; just the occasional AN. There's an added AN to the Prelude that one might want to check out. And the chapter title has nothing to do with sex. **

Lying in bed that night, Remus stared up at the blackened canopy of his bed and reflected on his day. While he was nearly positive that his response to the werewolf question on the DADA O.W.L would hardly get him expelled, he was having a more difficult time trying to convince himself that he was not, in fact, at all attracted Sirius, but for some reason the memory of the previous summer when Sirius had decided to strip down to his boxers and "swim with the giant squid" came to mind. Remus had told him that he'd just end up "swimming with the fishes", but Sirius, being a pureblood, didn't get the reference to the novel, and Remus assumed that he knew nothing of the Mafia. His musings about the Sirius, the Mafia, and the giant squid were interrupted by a voice out of the darkness.

"Moony? You still awake?"

"No, Padfoot."

"Even werewolves can't converse in their sleep, Moony."

"How would you know? And why aren't you asleep; we've got Transfiguration tomorrow . . . ."

"You're one to talk, seeing as you actually _care_ about the exam."

"Touche."

"Are you mad at us for earlier, Remus?"

Remus sighed, "Should I be, Sirius? Only you never really seem to care, so what's it matter if I am? (_can't be mad at you no right to be_) It's not like you'll leave him alone, so why - "

"No, no," Sirius interrupted, "you just seemed kinda distant is all. And you've never threatened to report Prongs to McGooogles like that, either."

Remus rolled his eyes into the darkness. "Contrary to popular belief, Sirius, Severus _is_ a human being. You have no idea what that would have done to him . . . ." Remus heard the ruffling of Sirius moving from across the dorm.

"And you do, Moony? What would it do to him, then? Surely the greasy git doesn't have a _heart_?"

Remus sighed again and sat up against the head of his bed, arms wrapped around the knees pulled to his chest, head back and resting uncomfortably on the edge of the headboard. "You and James -break - you'll hurt him beyond repair one day, Sirius. I'm not mad at you. You of _all_ people should know I can't stay angry for long (_especially at you even after The Incident because I love you even though you'll never love me and I'm a bloodthirsty monster fag monster monster monster freak useless monster sheepskin disgrace_)."

"Well then thank Merlin it's almost the holidays because I _swear_ otherwise I'd hex him back into England faster than you can say "Crucio-"

"Sirius!"

"What? It's not like the greaseball wouldn't do it himself - "

"I reckon he'd take the Cruciatus to being stripped down in front of half the school, Sirius."

Sirius snorted. "Scrawny git probably couldn't survive it."

Remus sat up straight at that, and stared wide-eyed into the darkness in the direction of Sirius, although the closest thing that he could see were the bloodred cloths around his bed. "And you could, Sirius?" When he'd received no reply after nearly thirty seconds, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and winced, more at the creaking of his tendons than at the cold stone floor. Standing up more carefully, he slid through the curtains and made his way past Peter's bed, then James', creeping quiet as - well, quiet as a wolf.

He stopped just next to Sirius' bed, and, although the light from the half-full moon was almost entirely blocked by the hangings, Remus was able to find the end of one and pull it aside. Sirius lay sprawled on his back, legs crossed and hands behind his head, _lumos_'d wand resting on his stomach, the light rising and falling with his breaths.

"I could survive it," he drawled.

"When-how many-_Sirius _(_love you how could anybody hurt you monsters all - _)" he whimpered, unable to further hide his fear and concern for his friend.

"Only got _crucio_'d once, actually. When I was home for Christmas first year, Reg was asking all sorts of questions about Hogwarts and how I could stand being a Gryffindor. I told him I'd rather be _crucio_'d than be in Slytherin - unfortunately, Mother overheard me."

Remus sat down on the very edge of the bed, hard. "She - Cruciatus - at - when - in front of - _eleven_?!"

Sirius shrugged and looked away. "It happens."

"Oh, move over, Padfoot," Remus carefully moved further onto the bed, closer to Sirius (_Oh my god he's only wearing boxers oh gods and is that where-_), who was still looking pointedly away from him. Dropping his gaze, Remus brought a shaking hand up to Sirius' right shoulder and traced the set of puckered, pale pink scars there; like a waning moon. "Is that - " unable to go on, he looked back up to meet Sirius' gaze, and inhaled sharply when Sirius slowly nodded (_oh gods I could have killed him monster killer monster savage not worth it at all monster_). "Merlin, Sirius, it's not worth it; you shouldn't have - I could've turned you - "

"Leave it, Moons," Sirius turned his head to look at Remus better, "that was worth it to help you. Nothing like what you've done to yourself."

Remus turned his head toward James' bed as his breath caught in his throat (_how could he know what I do such a weak monster and monster monster can't hide monster couldn't ever hurt you hate myself so much for that I'm sorry sorry so sorry Sirius but it __**is**__ worse than what I do to myself because I hurt myself instead of others but I slipped up so weak should've been strong enough to stop not hurt you coward slime weakling mon-_)

"Moony? Moons, it really doesn't hurt much anymore, and-" he was cut off by Remus turning back and whispering sharply,

"What, the bite or _Crucio_?"

"Ah - well - bloody hell, _crucio_."

"And the bite?"

"It . . . itches. Around the full moon, when I'm not Padfoot. Itches like something's trying to get out . . . . "

Remus put his face in his hands. "Idiots, the lot of you. Don't you realize how easy it would be for me to kill one of you? Just one slip and you'd be dead . . . or worse, turned . . . . " He started to trail off before Sirius spoke up,

"Would you really rather be dead, Remus?"

Remus turned away from Sirius, again, and shrugged. "Sometimes," he spoke softly, "and sometimes I wake up in the Shack feeling _happy_. But most of the time I'd rather be left alone than endanger any of you. And even if I _did_ infect you, and didn't get sent to Azkaban, it wouldn't be safe - four werewolves in the Shrieking Shack would be deadly." He felt a hand on his shoulder.

We're Gryffindors, Moony. We're not gonna give up on something like this! And it's not like you'd out us either. Just give it up, yeah?"

Remus laid down on the covers, next to Sirius. "Well, I won't be happy about it at any rate."

Sirius let out a quiet cheer. "Ah, that's the spirit, Moons!"

Things were quiet for a few moments, before Remus whispered, "You should let up on Severus some."

Sirius snorted.

"I'm serious, Siri - ah, Merlin."

Sirius chuckled. "Tell you what. Let's say you call us by our _proper_ names, and Prongs and I'll back off Snivellus, hmm?"

Remus whispered indignantly, "But I do call you by your proper names, S-"

Sirius cut him off. "It's Padfoot, Moony. And Wormtail and Prongs."

(_That can't be all there is to it he wouldn't make a deal like __**that**_) Remus yawned. "Why?" he closed his eyes.

Sirius shifted next to him. "I'd rather be naked for the end-of-term-feast than be _crucio_'d again, I suppose. And he's friends with my brother and Reg doesn't need any more reason to hate me, and I don't like seeing people hurt, it's mostly - (_brother reason hate hurt brother no monster don't have a brother_) - off."

"Alright, Padfoot," Remus muttered, stifling another yawn. "Now go to sleep. Transfiguration tomorrow." And with that, Remus drifted off into sleep, the darkness of his unconscious soon swirling about him, howling, nipping at his skin, voices jabbering insults, mocking.

Sirius, though, didn't fall asleep that easily. He watched as Remus relaxed in sleep, letting down the barriers and masks that he fought to keep up during the day. His face softened, and his carefully parted hair slid out of place, draping over his eyes, though not quite covering the bags that seemed to always be there. Sirius watched him, for how long he didn't know, until Remus twitched and whined - sounding more like a kicked puppy than what Sirius was comfortable with. When a frown formed on Remus' face, Sirius frowned as well. He watched with concern as Remus curled into himself - like the fetal position, though his limbs were too straight for that. After another expanse of time spent watching his friend, Sirius finally succumbed to sleep, Remus' occasional whimpers not waking him.

Line separator goes here . 

Remus' eyes shot open. Not daring to move any other muscle in his body, he blinked. Then it came to him - he'd fallen asleep talking to Sirius the night before (_Merlin freak sleeping with a boy disgusting monster_). He sat up and a blanket slid off of him - Sirius must have covered him, although he didn't know why. He was careful not to nudge Sirius as he slid out of the bed and folded the blanket, placing it at the foot of the bed. Heading towards the loo, he stopped at the foot of his own bed and dug out a clean uniform for the day. No-one else was ever awake this early, and he liked to take advantage of the empty showers and Common Room, as he was always up hours before everybody else.

Another line separating thing

**There's some foreshadowing in here - anybody who figures out what it is, or what's being foreshadowed gets a free cookie and lil' cameo in the story - but there's a catch. Rem's birthday's March 10****th**** - 3/10. You've got 31 hours to get in your guesses, or, midnight EST of Wednesday the 28****th****. **

**As for the last three paragraphs, Remus' sleeping position is that of a curled-up wolf or cat, and the dreams that he almost never remembers are nonsensical, just darkness with howling, teeth nipping at him, insults - for him they're nightmares, which is why he's never completely rested - but he doesn't remember them. And he's woken up around dawn ever since receiving the Bite.**

**Next chapter: July 16****th**** - August 20****th****, approx.**


End file.
